RANDOMNESS IN A RANDOM WORLD, ODE TO A BUNYIP, ED THE COMPUTER

'SCAPER IN A 'SCAPE WORLD**, ODE TO A BUNYIP, ED THE COMPUTER

First off, this has to be the lamest title in the history of the world. I can not overstate the lameness of this "'SCAPER IN A 'SCAPE WORLD"** title. Horsefeathers; it can be overstated. Let's move on. Anyway, in an attempt to try and do a lightning-quick post, instead of the usual "War and Peace" length of my normal posts, let's cut right to the chase.


Endless  fun is to be had in cruising the Runescape forums. Many of the threads are locked by the Mods after one post, because the topic is truly idiotic, explicit, or just plain... inexplicable. I found this on RSHumor.net, a few years back. It can't be beat for subject matter, development of theme, and severe back-pedaling at the end:

3 extra credit points for the spelling of "rumor"

When I first started playing RS, I kept hearing about the I.Q. levels of the players. Silly me figured at the time that anyone who had anything to do at all with computers and video games was wicked smart. I have been disabused of that sad delusion, heh.

Our next bunch of random comes from a screenie I took I know not where, nor when, but it's impressive in its screed-like style and emotional break down towards the end. 

WARNING: It does become a bit explicit, although I captured this back in the days when we had a so-called censor. This "censor" wouldn't let you say "butt," but someone ran around RS with the user name of "spoonfucklol" for several weeks before he was summarily banned from the game:

To this day, I do not know if "Bubbles" is a boy or a girl and I'm not sure I'd ever want to find out...

Just so everyone is treated fairly, it must be said that the Mods, or Moderators on the forums and in-game, or not always the brightest bulbs in the drawer, or whatever mixed-metaphor you care to apply. People used to be banned for all manner of offenses. Most bans were in regard to real-world trading, scamming other players, obscenity and who knows what else. I'm not sure what this person did to warrant a black mark or a ban, but he appealed and won the appeal. I really have to wonder who, or what is judging these appeals. Check out the following:

This fellow was banned for Rule #1, which no longer exists, but currently falls under the Category of "Respect." Rule #1 as stated at the time, went like so:

Rule 1 prohibited offensive, racist, anti-religious and obscene language said in-game to other players. It was one of the original Rules of Conduct, but as of 11 May 2009, this rule now falls under the Respect category.

As you can tell by the player's stunning argument for reinstatement to RS, he clearly would never use such language.

And so it goes. The comments that come out of the blue can leave one breathless in their stunning randomness and seemingly "Alien from the Mother Ship" quality. 

Before I share this screen shot, I must explain what is going on: Runescape used to have Mods, short for Moderators. Some were Jagex Mods, people who actually worked for Jagex, and Player-Moderators, who were chosen for "good behavior." The Mods were rather like policemen. They were supposed to have a "calming" or "dampening" influence on the general populace. They had no super-powers and they did the same things that we all did and still do. They die in idiotic ways, fuck up quests, and just generally screw up their skilling, just as the we, "hoi-polloi" do. They don't have any magic buttons to push. In short, they are the same as the rest of the RS world.

With that in mind, this is what I ran across today while digging around for some kind of mild diversion. I found this rare beauty in my "collection" and include it for your delectation. Please note that some (okay, one) of the names have been changed to protect the, actually, really intelligent:

As I recall, there was a quick back-pedal there from *blur* "wp!" he typed, for "wrong person." I didn't catch that on screenie, but wondered just who the "right person" would be, and if they resided in this plane of existence

ODE TO A BUNYIP

This will be delayed. I have yet to create an "Ode" or anything else even close to a sonnet, or even an epigram regarding Bunyips. I will say this; "Bunnies" as I call them, are summoning animals that help heal you when you're in combat, so you don't have to haul around all that annoying and space-wasting food just to stay alive. I think they're pretty neat, but they are terrible conversationalists, as are most NPCs in RS. Those decision trees are a bitch to program. They're hard drive and memory hogs to boot.

Actually, let me just take a fling here, and do some ad-libbing:

I love my Bunnie, he's so fine...

You'll never hear him carp or whine...

His conversation's really bad...

The one word he knows is really sad!

Okay! After that major suckage, it's time to move on to our next and (thankfully) last chapter of this mare's nest.

ED THE COMPUTER

When I first joined SpiritZ, there was a SpiritZ member, who was actually quite brilliant. I know that after describing some of RS's inhabitants, this is hard to believe, but it is true. Ed was awesome, smart, logical, and... well, I'm trying not to gild the lily here. Ed was out of his mind. He would come up to a few of us, the newbies, during events and offer to "mentor" us. This is not so unusual, but it was the way he talked: "I shall mentor you, mentor you I shall...: I thought Yoda had slipped into the Clan somehow. He also reminded me of my drunk Uncle Whos-is, who would do the most astonishing things during gatherings.

Once, during a "retirement" party of our founder, JZ, he proceeded to stand up during JZ's speech and deliver some long-winded rambling diatribe, that had not one iota of sense, nor anything analogous to JZ's impending "leaving." (Retirement and leaving are in quotes, because JZ retired every so often and then would come back after a week or so. We always had a fine time, marching around Varrock and Lumbridge in our black gilded armor, show the colors, act like idiots and drink and cry a lot. In real life, too.)

Take a good look; we were never this organized again

The local populace would say, "oh look! Spiritz is showing their colors again. Jz must be retiring... again." Since this was my first JZ "retirement" party, I was truly heartbroken, not to mention, a little buzzed. I was trying to hold back tears, as JZ made his speech. I thought "how eloquent he is," not realizing this was about the 100th time he had delivered it, or something akin to it. About this time, Ed lurches up, and launches into this... ramble about how SpiritZ had been so good to him, and how good he was for SpiritZ and RS and the whole world in general, and it was a sad fact that nobody appreciated his brilliant-ness and would never understand him. That last part I could truly believe. 

In that vein, (I resisted the urge to say "spirit") I present this conversation between Ed and some poor hapless souls who, I think, thought they were the targets of some weird, practical joke:

This exchange is so infamous, it ended up on RSHumor.net

I have read this over and over, much like studying a text of ancient Urdu to try and divine its meaning. No such luck. Perhaps this is just a truncated portion of the entire thing. Knowing Ed, it might not be. Just the musings and wanderings of a brilliant, albeit, lonely soul. 

Ed left SpiritZ, though I've heard through the RS grapevine that he does still play and does lots of "PK-ing" player-killing. He probably bewilders his opponents to death.


Postscript: I brought up this incident with several of us "old-timers" who remembered the incident. We couldn't decide which was funnier, Ed's typical "speech" or JZ's "retirement." I think it's a draw.

That's enough of my drivel for now. I ran out of pictures, and need to go scratch around in my "collection" for more gems. Next up, SIFOTS, although I may be reduced to "recycling" pics with new narratives, if we don't find anymore shi...er, artifacts, on sidewalks.

Take care, my dear ones! See ya soon.

**With apologies to Robert Heinlein, Sci-Fi Author, "Stranger in a Strange Land"