RANDOMNESS IN A RANDOM WORLD, ODE TO A BUNYIP, ED THE COMPUTER

'SCAPER IN A 'SCAPE WORLD**, ODE TO A BUNYIP, ED THE COMPUTER

First off, this has to be the lamest title in the history of the world. I can not overstate the lameness of this "'SCAPER IN A 'SCAPE WORLD"** title. Horsefeathers; it can be overstated. Let's move on. Anyway, in an attempt to try and do a lightning-quick post, instead of the usual "War and Peace" length of my normal posts, let's cut right to the chase.


Endless  fun is to be had in cruising the Runescape forums. Many of the threads are locked by the Mods after one post, because the topic is truly idiotic, explicit, or just plain... inexplicable. I found this on RSHumor.net, a few years back. It can't be beat for subject matter, development of theme, and severe back-pedaling at the end:

3 extra credit points for the spelling of "rumor"

When I first started playing RS, I kept hearing about the I.Q. levels of the players. Silly me figured at the time that anyone who had anything to do at all with computers and video games was wicked smart. I have been disabused of that sad delusion, heh.

Our next bunch of random comes from a screenie I took I know not where, nor when, but it's impressive in its screed-like style and emotional break down towards the end. 

WARNING: It does become a bit explicit, although I captured this back in the days when we had a so-called censor. This "censor" wouldn't let you say "butt," but someone ran around RS with the user name of "spoonfucklol" for several weeks before he was summarily banned from the game:

To this day, I do not know if "Bubbles" is a boy or a girl and I'm not sure I'd ever want to find out...

Just so everyone is treated fairly, it must be said that the Mods, or Moderators on the forums and in-game, or not always the brightest bulbs in the drawer, or whatever mixed-metaphor you care to apply. People used to be banned for all manner of offenses. Most bans were in regard to real-world trading, scamming other players, obscenity and who knows what else. I'm not sure what this person did to warrant a black mark or a ban, but he appealed and won the appeal. I really have to wonder who, or what is judging these appeals. Check out the following:

This fellow was banned for Rule #1, which no longer exists, but currently falls under the Category of "Respect." Rule #1 as stated at the time, went like so:

Rule 1 prohibited offensive, racist, anti-religious and obscene language said in-game to other players. It was one of the original Rules of Conduct, but as of 11 May 2009, this rule now falls under the Respect category.

As you can tell by the player's stunning argument for reinstatement to RS, he clearly would never use such language.

And so it goes. The comments that come out of the blue can leave one breathless in their stunning randomness and seemingly "Alien from the Mother Ship" quality. 

Before I share this screen shot, I must explain what is going on: Runescape used to have Mods, short for Moderators. Some were Jagex Mods, people who actually worked for Jagex, and Player-Moderators, who were chosen for "good behavior." The Mods were rather like policemen. They were supposed to have a "calming" or "dampening" influence on the general populace. They had no super-powers and they did the same things that we all did and still do. They die in idiotic ways, fuck up quests, and just generally screw up their skilling, just as the we, "hoi-polloi" do. They don't have any magic buttons to push. In short, they are the same as the rest of the RS world.

With that in mind, this is what I ran across today while digging around for some kind of mild diversion. I found this rare beauty in my "collection" and include it for your delectation. Please note that some (okay, one) of the names have been changed to protect the, actually, really intelligent:

As I recall, there was a quick back-pedal there from *blur* "wp!" he typed, for "wrong person." I didn't catch that on screenie, but wondered just who the "right person" would be, and if they resided in this plane of existence

ODE TO A BUNYIP

This will be delayed. I have yet to create an "Ode" or anything else even close to a sonnet, or even an epigram regarding Bunyips. I will say this; "Bunnies" as I call them, are summoning animals that help heal you when you're in combat, so you don't have to haul around all that annoying and space-wasting food just to stay alive. I think they're pretty neat, but they are terrible conversationalists, as are most NPCs in RS. Those decision trees are a bitch to program. They're hard drive and memory hogs to boot.

Actually, let me just take a fling here, and do some ad-libbing:

I love my Bunnie, he's so fine...

You'll never hear him carp or whine...

His conversation's really bad...

The one word he knows is really sad!

Okay! After that major suckage, it's time to move on to our next and (thankfully) last chapter of this mare's nest.

ED THE COMPUTER

When I first joined SpiritZ, there was a SpiritZ member, who was actually quite brilliant. I know that after describing some of RS's inhabitants, this is hard to believe, but it is true. Ed was awesome, smart, logical, and... well, I'm trying not to gild the lily here. Ed was out of his mind. He would come up to a few of us, the newbies, during events and offer to "mentor" us. This is not so unusual, but it was the way he talked: "I shall mentor you, mentor you I shall...: I thought Yoda had slipped into the Clan somehow. He also reminded me of my drunk Uncle Whos-is, who would do the most astonishing things during gatherings.

Once, during a "retirement" party of our founder, JZ, he proceeded to stand up during JZ's speech and deliver some long-winded rambling diatribe, that had not one iota of sense, nor anything analogous to JZ's impending "leaving." (Retirement and leaving are in quotes, because JZ retired every so often and then would come back after a week or so. We always had a fine time, marching around Varrock and Lumbridge in our black gilded armor, show the colors, act like idiots and drink and cry a lot. In real life, too.)

Take a good look; we were never this organized again

The local populace would say, "oh look! Spiritz is showing their colors again. Jz must be retiring... again." Since this was my first JZ "retirement" party, I was truly heartbroken, not to mention, a little buzzed. I was trying to hold back tears, as JZ made his speech. I thought "how eloquent he is," not realizing this was about the 100th time he had delivered it, or something akin to it. About this time, Ed lurches up, and launches into this... ramble about how SpiritZ had been so good to him, and how good he was for SpiritZ and RS and the whole world in general, and it was a sad fact that nobody appreciated his brilliant-ness and would never understand him. That last part I could truly believe. 

In that vein, (I resisted the urge to say "spirit") I present this conversation between Ed and some poor hapless souls who, I think, thought they were the targets of some weird, practical joke:

This exchange is so infamous, it ended up on RSHumor.net

I have read this over and over, much like studying a text of ancient Urdu to try and divine its meaning. No such luck. Perhaps this is just a truncated portion of the entire thing. Knowing Ed, it might not be. Just the musings and wanderings of a brilliant, albeit, lonely soul. 

Ed left SpiritZ, though I've heard through the RS grapevine that he does still play and does lots of "PK-ing" player-killing. He probably bewilders his opponents to death.


Postscript: I brought up this incident with several of us "old-timers" who remembered the incident. We couldn't decide which was funnier, Ed's typical "speech" or JZ's "retirement." I think it's a draw.

That's enough of my drivel for now. I ran out of pictures, and need to go scratch around in my "collection" for more gems. Next up, SIFOTS, although I may be reduced to "recycling" pics with new narratives, if we don't find anymore shi...er, artifacts, on sidewalks.

Take care, my dear ones! See ya soon.

**With apologies to Robert Heinlein, Sci-Fi Author, "Stranger in a Strange Land"

PLAYER STUPIDITIES IN RUNESCAPE, GOOD TIMES GOOD TIMES, LOVE, DEATH AND WTF?? IN THE G.E.

PLAYER STUPIDITIES IN RUNESCAPE

It has come to my attention... Well, not just now it hasn't come to the fore. It's no epiphany, but more of a creeping suspicion, that 'Scapers are not always the brightest stars in the Universe. More like one day some of us have most of our marbles, and other gamers, er... slackers are either watching the Three Stooges and doing something dangerous at the same time. Such as playing MW3 while they're slaying black dragons, or "chatting" with their other friends, while trying to survive in God Wars Dungeon. It's also possible to ruin some pretty good and valuable items, while trying to high-alch items into gold. These items, in my case are usually a bunch of crap dropped by monsters that I am slaying. Most of the time, I have no room for this junk in my bank so I high alch the items. I was babbling along with a friend, which make the time, pass ever so quickly. Time came to a screeching halt:

O rly? I am so glad that bank thingy is hiding my face

Yes, I finally did what a friend of mine did 4 years ago. I have teased him mercilessly ever since. I high-alched my whip. I turned the whip into 72k gold pieces; a whip that had cost me either 1.2 mil gp about 4 years ago, or the one I bought recently for 382k. Oh yes, I got 65+ mage xp for this monumental pin-headedness. What a deal! Yay! I still have a whip, but this was beyond numb-skulled.

A quick aside; I am now running Windows *Vista "Professional." "Professional" what is never designated, although I suspect it is "Professional" Yenta or Nanny; The later versions of Windows nag and carp and lie. I especially LOVE THE FUCKING UAC!!!! Don't... get me started, sigh. I like it better than XP which won't run on my AMD Athlon anyway, but damn, I miss the Windows 3.1 days. I digress. One of the things I missed the most on Vista was the Screen Capture function. In response to the impending user-fomented insurrection, Microshi... er, Microsoft came out with the Snipping Tool. It's pretty neat and I am getting semi-mediocre at using this tool.

*Vista haters, please don't write me and tell me how much better, Linux, Win 7, RedHat, Mac O/S, and/or Sux v2.0 is. They all suck. :D

At least I am better at that, then I am at using HyperCam, the Unregistered Whats-is that we used on Runescape back in the day, when we wanted to "vid" our wars and duels. You could download this thing from YouTube. It was buggy, and froze up systems, but by God, that never stopped me. I have tons of very good friends who are whizzes at this type of video thing. I however, am not. I told my friend MidnightWolf, who I was "duelling" at the time, that I would film an action-packed 4-minute epic (the Hyper-thing would quit for good on my system at 4 minutes.) What I got was a 4-minute video of our feet shuffling around. Unfortunately, this epic has been lost to the ages. It's a shame; I understand Michael Bay wanted to include it in his next epic.

This leads me to our next stupidi... er, adventure. This occurrence is still talked about, usually in hushed tones and while looking side to side. Bullshit. It's referred to as the "Shantay Pass Incident." Sounds kinda cool, like Star Treks from the '60s: "The Corbomite Maneuver." Very grave. Heh. Not so. A few years back, Wolf decided we needed to train Agility. This has to be one of the most boring-ass skills to train, and it helps to do it with buddies. We headed out of Shantay Pass into the desert. This game does try to provide verisimilitude in terms of you can die of cold in the mountains, die of thirst, get killed by monsters, or other players if you're brain-dead enough to hop over "The Ditch of Stupidity" get hit with a whip or gored by some player's claws... and blah, blah.

So, we put on our desert robes and headed south through the Pass. I had forgotten my waterskins. I should have just been able to click on the lintel of the Pass, but it didn't work; I home-teled. When this happened, I didn't take pictures. I'm no more than 15 minutes in front of, or behind my latest stupidity, so, this was just typical Viola. My friend, MidnightWolf generously agreed to help me "re-enact" this episode in a Day in the Life:

Getting our robes. Feel free to go to the Lobby for snacks; we haven't gotten to the good part, yet

The excitement builds? Can you feel it?...

Yeah... Neither can I

I had to do this twice in the "re-enactment." Can you say "I'm a Zombie?" Yeah, I'm so there...

Bows all around, Bollywood is calling...

(Credits Roll)

(Lionheart) Viola Fury... Verbena Dimbulb

(Sir) SpZ Wolf... Dr. Dudley Doolittle

Creative-type Stuff... No One

I walked back from Lumbridge, because obviously, you can't walk  NORTH through the stupid Pass. Only you can. I misclicked on the lintel support, said "the Hell with it," and home-teleported back to Lumbridge, and then walked back SOUTH. Bought another Shantay Pass, got my stupid waterskins and went off to train Agility. Wolf is STILL laughing about this, FOUR YEARS LATER! No need to train the Stupidity skill, I have a 99 Cape in that, along with my Dying 99 Cape.

Again, a huge THANK YOU to a very kind, and kind-hearted SpZ Wolf. Not to release too much, but he and his family participate in "animal fostering," for little furbabies when their mamas are not able to care for them. God Bless you and your lovely family, Wolf!

GOOD TIMES, GOOD TIMES

I was scratching around in my dusty picture file, trying to find some old pictures of the Clan and interactions with other people. It's hard to do sometimes, but this isn't "THE LIFE AND BOREDOM OF VIOLA AND HER LOYAL READER(S),"  Well, I ran across this gem, which is just so random and bizarre. Of course, I will keep it forever and ever, or until my system crashes. Oh wait, I did back up my precious files. So, take a gander at my (ahem) colleagues, both brilliant, brave and very dear to me:

Words fail me... ROFLLMAO!!! <<<333

I wasn't even in the same world (not literally, but figuratively, although you could argue for the former) but caught this on the fly. This conversation exemplifies these two individuals and the nonsense that goes on continually. I wouldn't miss this random bullshit, and it's even more important for someone who, er, doesn't get out much, now. 

LOVE, DEATH AND WTF?? IN THE G.E.

There is something like a shopping mall in Runescape. It is called the General Exchange, or GE and it is every bit as annoying and stupid as a real shopping mall. This place, in any RS world, at any time, is full of over-dressed people, in cliques, jabbering away in whatever lingo, patois, wolf-ticket, hip-hop dialect that has existed in the last 6,000 years. I swear to God, I heard people from Ur in there once:

grt?

ohlohop

qytr?

MPWERL:D!!!

ROFL

Maybe it was Urdu-Esperanto?

To add to the crazed atmosphere, there are people speaking actual foreign languages, not made-up bullshit, although there is plenty of that. My very first and oldest Runescape friend is a guy named RSchmitt. I believe I've mentioned him, in my first post. Anyway, he had just gotten to the level of Pray where he could invoke a gravestone if he died. He came up with the brilliant idea of eating rock cakes and killing himself in the GE while I carried on, just so he could see his gravestone. I had a friend ask me once, "don't any of you have jobs?" Yes, we do, but we all work from home, or are shut-ins. We usually run two systems side by side and play between phone calls at the "virtual office." I say, save time and be both a worker and a shut-in. One can see why; we're not exactly fit to be out in public. I jest. But this is what EPIC looks like:

Meh... Behar99 liked the shroud (the only black thing on anyone's pate as headgear) on my head. That blocky thing in front of me is Schmitty's grave. Don't ya feel like you're right there, experiencing the anguish?

Me neither 

So, these are today's ravings from Nebraska Avenue. Now, I have to get off my ass and do some S.I.F.O.T.S. In a continuation from Theodore and Junior, wild horses (well, horse) stampede Sidewalk .00048 Acres. Don't miss it!

Love to all.

JUST ANOTHER DAY IN RUNESCAPE, ACE'S FASHION SHOW, MEMORIES

JUST ANOTHER DAY IN RUNESCAPE

We all know that there are certain limitations when "chatting" in RS. Sometimes, people just evaporate, mainly due to laggggg, less rarely when someone says something truly asinine. That is the cue for a flame war. This usually devolves into the time-worn exchange "You're Hitler!" and the ever-famous retort, "Fuck you!" Score, 0 to 0, go back to your corners, or find another world, and sometimes, flee to another chat.

So, we re-materialize into another world and might see something like this:

Ace is certainly colorful with his word choices...

Stuff like this goes on all the time in Runescape, which is one of the reasons why I've seen it designated as a "social" website, over an MMORPG, based on the old dungeon MUD-based architectures, which are strictly "strife-based." Anyway, the other things we see plenty of are glitches and weird displays, which lead to some really interesting... if not suggestive pics. I believe, LOTD (List of the Day) refers to it as "Found Porn." There's not too much of that, but it happens. Check out my gaffe; it's rather tame, compared to other stuff on the Intrawebs.

I'm just glad I wasn't in front of him

And so it goes. The other night, I was trying to train prayer from level 78 to 79. I finally broke down and bought the last 100 dragon bones, which pissed me off. I hate spending money, in real life as well as RS. I was chatting with friends, because this has to be the most boring, most frustrating skill to train, ever, although I love using pray in combat. This is not a skill you can really do AFK (away from keyboard,) at least I can't. 

Anyway, every trip from Castle Wars to Ecto saw me leave something behind, ecto-tele back to the fundus from the slime pit with empty buckets, ecto-tele from Castle Wars. Oops! Forgot a new Ring of Duelling, tele Home and/or bury a dragon bone or two. It was a mess and took me eight times as long as it should have. This is mainly due to stuff like this:

No comment necessary, but I should stick to Solitaire, not gab :D

Just so Runescape doesn't feel picked on, regarding the "found porn," or suggestive pictures and conversations, I received this little gem today. I filed a complaint with the FBI today. I have been receiving scammy, bullshit-type calls demanding money, but these people will not tell me any info, nor send me a statement. They want a Credit Card number NOW! I've been capturing the numbers and reporting them to various Federal agencies. It gives me something to do, lol. Anyway, the FBI, along with most other websites, wants us all to type in the exact letters found in a "captcha." Okay. I usually have to look at ten or twelve of them before I can find one I can see, but I had no trouble seeing this. This is "captcha" gold! Legally blind or not, what does this say about me?

Are those "titys per ft," or "titys in a bucket?" Credit the FBI?

ACE'S FASHION SHOW

Last week, Ace was off getting his 50,000th level in something, probably his 300th 99, and asked me if he could show me some of his new outfits. I was (still) praying, and bored out of my mind. So, he pops in at the Ecto thing-a-ma-jig, wearing this:

No points here for composition, scale or centering of subject

So, off we went to Fally, so he could rummage around in his bank and show me this:

Notice my lovely free-hand "styling," that I was too lazy to edit out; you don't get art like this everyday!

Oh yeah, this isn't about me; it's about Ace's lovely outfits. And they are nice. I notice he likes yellow. I do too, but I don't know if I like so much of it:

That's a whole bunch of yellow

Anyway, he changed up on colors; he put on a green outfit, but I'll save that to  show you all, and make Jeremy jealous. Ace's words, not mine, heh.

MEMORIES

This post's memories are just some screenies of some of the random weirdness and funny stuff that has happened over the years, and I've either been lucky enough to capture at the time, or kind people have sent to me. RSHumor.net is also a great source for me, and I will credit them, as appropriate.

A "random" event during skilling... A very stupid "random" and very action-packed. I'm sure I enjoyed it more than whatever idiot skill I was training... Still can't believe I took a screenie of this; what's even sadder?   I kept it for almost 4 years... *sigh*

Some quest with a fox, a chicken and a bag of feed. I think it's a riddle from Days of Olde, When Knights Were Blah, Blah, Blah. Or a bad joke. In real life, the damn fox looks like he'd weight 200 lbs. I weigh about 100... I thought this was hilarious for some reason, and no, I wasn't drunk that night... yet

And, some times, one might do things on RS forums that may get one banned. One could argue that the average I.Q. on RS in aggregate, is about 48, and one would not be wrong. Check out this screenshot, courtesy of  RSHumor.net . I thank them for this and still laugh about it:

Heh; this is actually one of the brighter specimens...

Anyway, that's it for today; I went to Google's Collaborative Creativity Conference, today. Rule number one is, "write 500 words a day." Trying to cut back from the 5,000 a post, I usually write. I want to keep my readers, not kill them.

What? No L33t 5p34k? 

AD-HOC-"ISHNESS" WTF???, FOND MEMORIES OF MY CLAN FAMILY (WITH SCREENIES,) AND NEWS FROM THE FRONT LINES

AD-HOC-"ISHNESS" WTF???

Okay, first off with the reason this blog full of blab is even in existence. As my fearless reader(s) know, I have a tendency to shoot from the hip. I also wrote about Runescape in my other blog, S.I.F.O.T.S. That post was after a disastrous outing at an attempt at "humor." it really is true that I have NOT gotten funnier as I've gotten older, just more batshit insane and raving. To that end, we shall look at this new attempt as something to keep me diverted and out of the Mental Ward. S.I.F.O.T.S. as fun as it is and it will still be floating around didn't accomplish the staying-out-of-the-Mental-Ward thing. I think this blog of blab will do the trick, along with heavy psychotropics. :D. Is this inspirational? Hardly. More, an inevitability, rather like the impending explosion of the Sun. Although we won't have to wait 8 billion years for this disaster, and hopefully, it won't destroy the Solar System. 

Geek Nonsense

I thought of creating this blog yesterday and have been scheming about it, er, planning it ever since. So, of course, I've been talking to several of my co-conspirators from my old Clan, SpiritZ. Naturally, they are all creative, funny and wildly intelligent folks. I suspect we all have Aspberger's or are just major "Geek-Noobs." I prefer the latter term; it has so much more caché these days. I cannot stress enough (well, yes I could, but probably might pull a muscle) that this is going to be a blog about Runescape, my old Clan, SpiritZ, and to that end, MMORPG gaming in general. This is great for me, because I don't have to do all the heavy lifting. But, if you have never played Runescape, or any MMORPG, this may be bewildering. I have plenty of gossip, stories and adventures from my Clan family and I have lots of "screenies" (screen-shots for the two people who stumble across this madness and have been under rocks for the last 10 years.) So, you can see the beauty of this; less typing, more pictures. Kind of like "See Jane Run." "See Spot Take a Pee," or "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish," only less exciting.

Can you feel the excitement? Neither can I...

Very "ad-hociness," clever, with-it, IT stuff, very now, not 15 minutes ago. *Snicker* Very much full of "ad-hoc-ishness." Gah, it sounds even worse, especially after I shoe-horned it into some kind of bullshit sentence to fit some type of present tense of a term I just made up. Oh well, let's move bravely on.

CLAN FAMILY MEMORIES, COMPLETE WITH "SCREENIES"

When I first joined SpiritZ, as a little noob, back in 2007, I was a Combat level 77. This was a big deal to me. As I mentioned in S.I.F.O.T.S., this is really the only MMORPG I have every played with any regularity. I was on the verge of leaving the game entirely. I was in a rut. Skilling was a drag, I was tired of dying 30 times in every quest I ever did and I really didn't know anyone. Well, I had met this young man, whose in-game name was RSCHMITT*. We met while mining coal, which was tedious, but lucrative. It was just the two of us, and we struck up a conversation, just to pass the time. This is a very social game; you can make it as intense as you want, or just pass the time standing around, yakking it up, with buddies who are on another World and another Region of Gielinor (Runescape's Realm) entirely. Bizarre; voices from the air, but fun. So, "Schmitty," or "Boss" as I called him later, struck up a wonderful friendship.  As is the way in Runescape and other MMORPGs, you can be as anonymous or as open as you want with a fellow 'Scaper. Schmitty and I became great RS friends, but we never became close in real life. I know, irl, he went off to University and majored in Business. I know this because he started an RS business, "Schmitty's World of Mining and Smithing." There is a lot of reading between the lines in this game. "USMarine" online at 4 am is probably winding down after a day at work in Falujah. 

Well, I worked for Schmitty and made a fabulous amount of gold pieces for mining and smithing bronze bars. He pretty much financed my RS house, which has cost me an obscene amount of money. 

It's even more obscene, when I think of my two overfed cats (one Hellcat, one Purple job from Halloween "Event" a few years back) a Penguin, and a Cook who is a bitch. Every time I "visit" my house, the cats are running around the kitchen, or my Game room, the Penguin loves standing on my Workbench or my Dining room table, and the damned cook with her horrible black-and-white checked pants and shitty attitude is at the very edge of my property, stomping around. She bitches if I summon her and ask for a cup of tea. I don't live there, I can't even lie down in my bed. But, my cook makes a mean cup of tea. The only she hasn't put rat poison in it, is because I'll fire her.

Anyway, I digress. I worked for Schmitty for about 6 months, then RS placed caps on the items you could buy and sell, and the business crashed, along with the RS economy and eerily, the Real World economy took a dip, before it's huge meltdown. 

We decided to become "adventurers." This lasted about 1/2 an hour. I don't remember the other two pin-heads who joined in with us, but we decided we'd go beat up people in the Wilderness (Wildy,) kill the players and take their stuff. I was really sucky as a meleer (close-in fighter, as opposed to Mager or Ranger-Sniper), something which has since been rectified. I think Schmitty did Magic, some other guy did who knows what, and our fourth was a "Ranger." I use this term guardedly. This person had a Range level of 55, which is truly not... even mediocre. We got waylaid by about five people who were blood-thirsty, in a death-dot and much, much more skilled than any of us. We all woke up naked in Lumbridge. So much for "adventuring."

Schmitty was still in High School at the time and decided to join a Clan. He did what he always did; researched RS Clans and found a Clan called "SpiritZ," affectionately knows as "SpZ." Very appropriate. He told me about this Clan, and I was intrigued. I joined about three weeks later, and got the biggest shock of my gaming life, at that point. I was still all serious about this game. Every death was a total disaster. The idiots and mean people really bothered me and I'm lucky I was never reported, muted, or banned. At the time, you couldn't cuss; "hell" wasn't even allowed, except for "hellcat." Needless to say, the Censor sucked. I saw a player named "spoonfucklol" once and spent about a week trying to figure that out. By the time I tried to look him up; he'd been banned. 

I hid for about a week after this; I was sure I would at least be reported. Heh; I wasn't

Anyway. The Censor is now gone. I guess the Developers decided to ban all the  8-year olds posing as 13-year old, or just ceased to go deaf from all the player whining. This is a good thing from the Screenie point of view; it makes for some very funny stuff. On the other hand, I can see little Susie's mother hair fall out or catch fire when she sees (or "hears") "Who the fuck really cares about mining? lol!" as I did the other day, while high-alching. Ouch.

Just a typical conversation pre-non-Censor

So, I joined this band of lunatics and the first event I attended was a "Duel Arena" outing. The leader at the time, was our intrepid Afghani, LICKMYSALTY. How in the hell that name ever got by the censors, I'll never know. Anyway, I met this merry band of prankster, and damn! They were having fun! Salty froze me with his Magic Spell as I tried to hit him with a bronze sword, or something equally feeble. Then, he razzed me and ran just out of my reach. I died several times at the Arena; we all did. We ended the session with a Conga Line and all went off to do whatever. This was the beginning of my true RS life. This was in 2007, and I am still friends with just about every one of these people. More have come along. They have enriched my life, made me laugh and comforted me when things just sucked.

*In most cases, I will use the actual screen name of the person, unless I am talking about something that someone might find hurtful, or cases where bigotry, sexism, or just general ass-hattery was witnessed. Then, I will use a screen pseudonym and designate it as such. Back to our program now.

NEWS FROM THE FRONT: NEBRASKA AVENUE, 33605

Okay, I have been "off-line" from RS for the better part of two years, due to various disasters, crises, epiphanies and other -ies. I am getting back into this game to try and catch up and frankly, it is very good therapy. My Psychiatrist is all for this. So, back in the harness.

Finally, something he can't botch up

This of course, means doing shit I either love, or hate. What I apparently love to do, is stand around and jabber with friends, die in-game, re-spawn, walk around a lot, eat irl while playing, bitch about stuff and just generally laugh it up. Unfortunately, none of these activities are "productive" or are "skills" in RS. I could quest, but that generally sucks, and I suck at questing. It's quid pro quo there. So, I skill, or train and I do the bad-ass stuff. Attack, Defense, Strength, Slaying. I like to live on the edge, and where else are you going to learn about courage? Clicking a mouse 70,000 times in an hour, while eating a chicken salad sandwich and listening to Carmina Burana or Rammstein is really living dangerously. Heh.

It's good to create that extra character you don't give a shit about

So, after my last annoying, er, challenging task of killing 782 Dumb Ass Aberrant Specters (Jeeze, what a bore) I had to go back to Duradel, who lives in a jungle south of Hell, or some other god-forsaken place to get a new "task." Shit, it took me longer to find that asshole than it did to do the 947 Happy Shithead Fire Giants he assigned me. I was getting frantic and was unable to see; my vision has worsened a bit and I am still getting used to it. In our Clan Chat, I was rapidly starting to rave. Of course, when I start foaming at the mouth, we're all vastly amused. "Where in the Hell are these Happy Assholes?" meaning Fire Giants, after I spent six hours finding Pinhead-Duradel and getting yet, another grind, er, task. "They're in the Jungle Dungeon. This Dungeon has some six-paragraph long name; I won't repeat it; it's as boring as this task. Anyway, you have to hack your way through vines and run past annoying dogs who attack, fall in lava, all to get to these... dibbuks. These dorks stagger around and wait in line patiently as you attack them one, by one. Sort of like a really bad (or good, depending on your point of view) Kung Fu movie. I personally loved "Shaolin Soccer," but then, I am very easily amused, as you can tell by my babble.

I said to my friend, "These damned things better be, like, under my kitchen sink. They better be living under there. Cthulhu moved, I just get his mail here now. Did you know he's looking at lawn furniture? And he joined a Health Club. What a disappointment." Ha ha ha...

Am I serious? No, that's no fun. Everyone had a lot of fun with that rant. There was more, but it's all a blur. The Flipping Fire Giants took me about 1/3 of the time and my next task got me killed before I even got to the stupid monsters. Just another day in Runescape!

The only art-related thing I ever created that didn't look like a stick-dog

More in a day or so; I hope to employ (yeah, 50 gp an hour is the going rate; I can up that, by 5 or so) some of my "roving correspondents." I will certainly be introducing more of my Clan family, and they are very much my family, as are you all. Take care, my loves and more blog and blab soon. <3